Direction

I dont do direction. Full stop, simple as that, I just dont do direction. On foot or in a car - all the same to me, dont get it. Even on a train I have been known to get on one going the opposite way to my intended destination. It is a constant source of amazement to me that people know which direction to travel in to arrive where they want to be.
Not that I let this affliction limit me in any way - oh no, I just ask my husband to write out the directions in large letters on a piece of paper for me to follow. Return journey has to be written out as well cos I cant understand it in reverse. No good asking him for directions - that is an even bigger nightmare.
Scenario usually goes something like this:
me: How do I get to X
him: Take the M6 to Jwhatever. Stay in left hand lane, take second left. You'll see a pub on your right, think its called the dog and duck, seats outside, very pretty.
me: Yes, yes yes, so do I turn right here?
him: no, carry straight on and you'll come to a set of traffic lights. If you turn right there you go to X and straight on takes you to Y. Turn left.....
You get the picture, and this is how it goes on and on and on. Not that any of it matters cos I'm completely lost after the totally irrelevant pub or factory or shop or whatever else he has decided to throw into the mix to confuse me.

He is used to me phoning him at odd times of the day or night from sides of roads ( usually the wrong roads) demanding to know where I am and why I am in the wrong place. One of the most memorable was when, after a series of 3 roundabouts where I had to keep making choices - after travelling round them all at least twice, hyperventilating all the time before randomly choosing an exit I realised this could not possibly be the right road. So I phoned him at home 200 miles away and demanded to know where I was.
me: I'm lost, where am I?
him: what can you see?
me: a house and a field
him: no, I mean what did the last signpost say?
me: signpost???
him: What did the sign say?
me: I dont know I didnt see a signpost
him: You must have seen a signpost
me:(almost hysterical by this point) If I'd seen a sign post I wouldnt be lost would I (this is an arguable point actually) oh, you're no use at all, all I want to know is where I am. And I slammed the phone down.

I once took a friend for a quick 45minute circular walk in the New Forest near to my daughters home. 4 hours later she had to get us back using all sorts of clever things like where the sun was in the sky and which side of some power cables we were now etc etc. We werent actually dressed for a 5 hour march and we hadnt had lunch either......
She is still a friend, but oddly enough she always decides the route when we go for a walk now.