What a surprise!

Oh my goodness me!! There I was,messing around ont'iPad and suddenly my old - very old - blog appeared after I had tapped something or other! Well, I was all of a flummox - I think that's what you call it when you get to my advanced age - and decided to read it. Well,what a difference 6 years can make in a life. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - I certainly didn't recognise the person who wrote it,but it must have been me cos the photo looks vaguely familiar and the incidents mentioned certainly are.
So I thought to myself should I restart rambling? As only me will read it probably its not really a very relevant question,but I think deeper forces are at work here and it has reappeared for a reason.
Lots of water gone under lots of bridges since I stopped blogging - and let's face it I was not a very prolific writer anyway.
Biggest change? Himself, my rock, has died. During our marriage he gave me some pretty amazing Wedding Anniversary presents,ranging from trips to the tip to a ride in HIS new shiny car. Well,he totally surpassed himself on our 38th anniversary - by being diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia at 2pm on the day.
What followed,until he died 20 months later was a nightmare I have no intention of writing about here. All I will say is that his leaving us has left our family and my world in particular, a very different place. His dignity and positivity through unimaginable awful treatments and where we spent long weeks and months at a time in isolation, were a very humbling experience to witness. His death just before Christmas 2011 ended 39years and 8 months of coupledom. We didn't do badly I suppose,given that when we got married,having only been acquainted for 6 months, I reckoned if we managed 5 years we would call it a success!
So,here we are, or rather here I am, 15 months on,still trundling on and SO in tune with Esther Rantzens statement that there is usually someone to do something with,but no longer anyone to do nothing with. But hey Ho,life does go on and somehow we have to find a way to get on with it. I would love to be all noble and say there are lots of people much worse off with problems, but as my Godaughter says when the end of her world  comes [which it does at least once a week, you know the sort of crisis,broken nail,boyfriend not rung etc] - that doesn't help how I am feeling at the moment!!
Well,I am going to stop rambling on about nowt for now,this may not even publish,in which case I will be well hacked off!
Got classes to prep for this week - oh yes,in case anyone does see this - I am attempting to build a different life and one of the things I have done is start a crafting business. It's called PAPERDAYS. up to 4 people at a time come along from 10 - 4.30,get well fed and watered and make things in my very well stocked craft room. So far everyone seems to have a ball and many are now regular visitors. It's a win win situation,cos it gives me a reason to get out of bed and I get to bake cakes again,which I  enjoy and my house feels like a home again for a few hours,with lots of laughter and fun. The downside is my creative talents have had to develop and  expand and I have to pretend I know what I am doing and teach things,but so far so good - and hey,it's only real life.