Two for One

Well, everyone offers that now dont they? BOGOFS I mean. So when I got the delightful job of taking the granddog to the vets to get his nuts chopped off I asked her if she could do himselfs at the same time only for free. She declined the invitation, must have been pressure of work. Instead, as she was explaining to me that castrationwould not stop Ted running off and he needed training, he cocked his leg and pee'd all down her leg, over her shoe and all over the floor. Now, I know one should be aghast and apologetic at such things, but I just cracked up laughing - his timing was impeccable! What do they say about never working with animals or children?
Anyway, Tedward is now minus his bits, but himself still has his, so alls well that ends well.

How did this happen?

It's my 35th Wedding Anniversary today, well its himself's anniversary as well I suppose, but he hasnt suffered as much as me, so therefore I take precedence - me,me,me and me. But, anyway, the scary thing about this is - how the hell can I have been married for 35years when I think I am only about 36 years old??? I did go through a faze of saying I was 42 when I thought I had grown up a bit, but that didnt last for long. I just cant get me head around it at all.
Anyway, ever the romantic, himself says to me on Thursday upon my return from a week away -"you haven't made me a card or anything have you?". I raise my brows, he continues -"only I havent got you one, so if you have I need to know then I'll have to go and get one, but I'm picking my new car up on Saturday so I dont know when I'll have time".
It was at that point I struggled to remember why the hell I have stayed married to him. Just wish he'd asked me before I went away as it would have given me an excuse to spend even more money!
Anyway, I shouldn't complain as he has taken me out today - to the tip with a load of rubbish in his new car. He didnt like my suggestion that instead of throwing the bags in he should jump in with them. At times I struggle to comprehend how sick I must be to still love him, I really do.
We are going out to dinner though, so I feel it is my duty to order the most expensive dish and bottle of wine on the menu.

Anyway, enough of this idle chit chat and down to business. At the Brecon retreat last week Julie and I had an absolute ball. We met up with some really lovely people and laughed ourselves silly. Maybe some folks thought we were loud and silly - which we were - but I say if you cant have a laugh you may as well be dead and as long as you're not being hurtful or unkind it doesn't matter. I also say its not real life so it doesn't matter. Actually I say a lot of things and most of them are rubbish, but who cares.
Well, the upshot of this hilarity is that it has been decided I should run a course on Creative Crotch Clutching. As this is a complex subject it will have to be spread over 2 days with an exam at the end. Places are limited and I am sure it will be over subscribed so get your names down soon. There will be a follow up one day seminar on Bosom Rubbing which I expect will generate an equal amount of excitement.

Yesterday I went to Sams Manchester crop and had a great time as per usual. Over the six hour period I usually manage to cut at least 2 pieces of card and not much else. Those arent always straight either. However, yesterday I excelled myself and cut 15 pieces of card, stuck down 15 pics and at least 30 bits of patterned paper!! Think I'll have to see a doctor if this sort of pace continues.

The builders arrive tomorrow along with Ted my granddog, who is coming to stay for a couple of weeks. Tedward as I call him, is just like his owner, my son, an absolute character and I love him to bits. Last time he stayed he chewed up part of the floor and half a kitchen stool, so this time he has to go in his cage if he is not with me. If I remember, which I probably wont cos I dont really do memory. So, next time I update either himself or the dog may have departed my life....

Men and Motors

So himself has decided he NEEDS to change his car. Why do men have 'needs' but they relabel our needs 'wants'? This has come about cos he has rekindled his interest in shooting. I did point out that I thought that entailed using a rifle, but apparantly it is very important to be seen to be arriving for said shooting events in the RIGHT VEHICLE. He did also say that his particular type of car does not travel well over fields and streams, apparently another reason to NEED a 4 x 4 sort of vehicle. I am dreading the search for the replacement. Trying to show an interest I have said I could quite fancy a top of the range Range Rover sort of 4 x 4 vehicle. Not sure how far I got with that suggestion, the only comment was " are you mad woman?". However, never one to be daunted at the first hurdle I shall mention it again at a later date.

So now he is involved with things that go bang again I can get back to what I do best - source and buy huge quantities of scrapping stash. I am an expert at this as visitors to my craft room will freely testify. If Julie reads this she will burst a gasket as she thinks she has brainwashed me into submission, made me see sense,saved me from myself and all that good positive stuff,but a leopard cant change its spots and deep inside the real me is just waiting for a chance to be set free again!

Confused almost IT expert

I really havent got the hang of all this yet. The last post should have had todays date on but didnt and when I ask my computer screen questions it doesnt answer - think I shall rename it husband.
However, I am now almost certainly an IT expert as I have learnt how to send an email attachment today. This, to me, is almost the equivalent of gaining a First Class Honours Degree at University. No, not almost, it actually flippin well is the equivalent.
I can see it now, soon someone will ask me to do something on the computer other than switch it on and I will be able to do it..............